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I Resolve To Not Make Any Resolutions.

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I Resolve To Not Make Any Resolutions.
When Marie Antoinette said, “They do not have bread? Well, let them eat cake!” she was not only being sarcastic, she was doing her bit for bakers in France….
I’m sorry? ReSolutions, oh not reVolutions, my bad.
It is that time of year, they do have a habit of coming round don’t they, every 360 days or more.
The Day of the Listicles, why does this sound like a Sci-Fi horror flick? Because it is! The terror of other people’s new year resolutions.
Could anything be more boring and predictable than setting goals for self-improvement, fresh start, personal growth, positive change? Good for you, just don’t trot it out at every opportunity.
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“Oh I can’t, I promised myself this year I would not blah-blah-blah.”
Alamak! Ask you to try this ice-cream flavour also so difficult!
And why does implementation of said yaddayadda targets have to kick-off Jan 1 of each year?
I move for new beginnings to start on say Easter Monday. This way if your new year resolutions had fallen by the wayside, you can resurrect them.
The earliest resolutions originated in ancient Babylon when Babylonians made promises to their gods (‘I swear to water my hanging garden daily.’).
They had a chief one, Marduk, one for love and war, Ishtar (two deities for price of one), and Ea for wisdom, and Shamesh for the sun.
Meanwhile, Singapore has just the one supreme being, CiK, Cash-is-King.
In light of the Christmas spirit and festive cheer, and ho-ho-holy rising costs, why not repeat last year’s new year resolutions? No need to change, if the old ain’t broke (or fixed), why get a new one?
You didn’t lose weight? You could not give up smoking? Try the same again, with the price of goods today, you just may achieve both aims.
No surprises I have never made new year resolutions because come Lent and you have to give something up, there go those resolves.
I do however applaud and admire those who make ’em and manage to keep ’em.
Especially the one who set out to learn to speak Klingon (Star Trek, millennials…) and is now at “Hab Sosll” (your mother has a smooth forehead).
And the one who vowed to become a professional unicorn wrangler. I last heard he’d switched to camels.
New year resolutions, Wish lists, Must-dos…most revolve around personal well-being, and they should.
From as inane as “I’m going to get a tattoo, but I donno where.” (No, not which parlour artist, but which part of her body.) to the impossible dream, “I’m going to stay off social media platforms for a whole entire day.” (How many likes will she receive for that?)
Maybe 2024 is the year I make some NYR. It is a leap year after all, so I’ll jump right in.
You’ve heard of bucket lists?
Well mine is ****it List. (Hullo, you are reading this under Humour in SilverStreak.sg)
You know, with stuff like: ‘I will not act my age. But I will make use of every senior discount available.’
Big and high on my list is: I will give up observing lists.
Such as the recent one on world’s most expensive cities. Yes, yes, no prizes, foregone conclusion, Singapore is number one, here tied with Zurich, (EIU Worldwide Cost of Living 2023).
And, according to TimeOut quoting a Resonance Consultancy, our costly city is the fifth most popular place to visit, from being ranked #2 for Prosperity, #14 for Lovability, and #17 for Liveability. Our Bikescore is #9 and our Shopping is #11. Begging the question, do you cycle to the shops?
Well lucky us!
We are not some cheap country, but we are prosperous, loveable, and liveable. In 2023.
Just don’t read on about our Happiness level. You need S$103,000 a year to be gleeful. 😢
Here I am, making a list, on why I give up on lists.
But enough about Singapore, city of my parents’ dreams as they sailed in from Penang.
To end on a sweet note, 2023 gave me the chance to share a laugh with a band of SilverStreakers via this platform, both readers and contributors alike.
And to cap it off I was inducted into The Singapore Media Industry Hall of Fame, thank you.
You know what, I think I’ll work on my resolutions for 2025 now.

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