“Singapore seniors are an entitled lot!” my good friend said recently. This was her response to an incident she heard about on the MRT. What had happened was that a senior approached a younger person in the priority seat on the train and demanded that the younger person give up the seat for the senior.
Although such priority seats are usually reserved for seniors and pregnant mums, this is but one of many incidents recently of fellow seniors making such demands on younger commuters that has been making its rounds on social media.
My friend, in her 50s and considers herself a senior, thinks that such senior behavior was inconsiderate. “What if this younger person was tired after a tough day at work?” she asked. “What if this younger person was not feeling well?”
This sparked my thoughts on growing older in Singapore and whether we silvers have an unrealistic sense of entitlement. After all, there are many schemes that have benefited Singapore seniors.
For me, getting older couldn’t come at a better time. I’m thankful that our society acknowledges the hard work of nation-building in our generation, and gives us perks.
However, some of my peers take it further and expect special attention at all times, just because they are older. (I hear stories of some folks blatantly cutting long queues or refusing to attend community events unless they are promised a “good goodie bag”).
But is this ‘entitled’ mindset justifiable?
In psychology, the mentality of an entitled person is characterised by someone who thinks they are owed something just because they exist.
I checked out the discussion forums to see what the discourse was like.
When I asked younger colleagues and friends about this, they too had some similar experiences.
Such complaints are not uncommon especially when a senior feels that his/her opinions count more than the other person. In doing so, they’ve put aside their sense of fairness and come across as unreasonable and hard to get along with. Sadly, I have seen cases of family estrangement just because we seniors think we know better.
As silvers should we feel that having some special perks is fair? After all, we’re older and wiser, with more life experiences and have contributed to Singapore as it is today. I would say yes – give us the respect we deserve, but we should not take it for granted that we must always have special treatment.
Achieving this balanced perspective, however, requires a certain amount of reframing, especially for those used to having things their way.
Here are some methods to prevent ourselves from coming across as too entitled:
Just because we’re older, our view may not always be the only way to do things.
Saying “I know because I’m older and lived longer than you” ends conversations and often alienates the younger folks. Be more receptive of other opinions, and discuss.
In talking it out and trying to understand why someone younger wants things a different way, we would also grow as we learn about other point of views and builds bridges to across generational gap.
A mindset of “I’m older so I should get always special privileges”, is not good.
It’s so easy to blame others when things don’t go your way, like “I’m old and a burden in walking groups, so no one wants to ask me”.
Take the initiative to look for events that you can take part in.
Often, new technology is the bugbear. We think that a younger person will know what to do and it’s easier to ask them to set up a new laptop than to find out how to do it ourselves.
A lot of information is available online, and you can find step-by-step “how to” video tutorials on YouTube these days, so do check them out. Besides, it’s good exercise for the brain.
That being said, sometimes we still do need the help of others to solve problems. When that happen, do remember to show appreciation to the person who has helped.
A simple “thank you” goes a long way. If you have WhatsApp, send a short message with a ‘big smile’ emoticon. Costs nothing.
I think we can always give a little more, respect a little more, practise humility a little more. After all, it takes two hands to clap, and respect goes both ways. It’s not easy but I’m working on it!
Are Seniors In Singapore Too Entitled? This Silver Thinks So
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What is too entitled?
Ways around the entitled attitude
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Lena Soh-Ng
Having spent most of her work life in PR, Media and Communications, Lena finds that there’s indeed a circle to life as she goes in a full loop back to Media, at SilverStreak. Whether writing, social media posting or researching, there’s always something fascinating to learn…these are her special Silver moments.
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