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ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones

  • Lifestyle
  • 3 months ago
  • Balvinder Sandhu

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ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones
We rarely think of ADHD in adults and tend to view attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as a condition in children. While it’s true that there’s more awareness of it among that age group, you may also be diagnosed when you’re much older, so it’s possible to be seniors with ADHD.
ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones - Dr. P. Buvanaswari
Dr. P. Buvanaswari, senior consultant psychiatrist at Promises Healthcare
Credit: Promises Healthcare
Dr. P. Buvanaswari, senior consultant psychiatrist at Promises Healthcare, says that, despite its name, ADHD is more of a difficulty with attention regulation than a true deficit of attention.
The brains of people with ADHD process information and decision-making differently from the brains of 'neurotypical' people,
she explains.

"This can result in them having a harder time getting started with and focussing on less stimulating tasks, as well as having difficulty with organisation and time management. They may also struggle with shifting their attention from one task to another, sometimes getting stuck with doing one task long after they might need to stop and shift to another task."

Dr Buvana notes that people with ADHD can find it easier to focus on tasks which are mentally stimulating and can be highly motivated in situations which are novel or give them a sense of accomplishment, but may lose focus once the challenging parts of the task are done.
ADHD in adults
a person with adult ADHD almost certainly had it as a child, but it might not have been picked up at the time because of a lack of awareness about the condition or because they managed to compensate and cope adequately.
While ADHD is largely an inherited condition, Dr Buvana explains,
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She adds that ADHD has a significant genetic component and, increasingly, there have also been some parents realising that they have ADHD after their children got diagnosed with ADHD and seeking help then.
ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones - Dr Gangaram Poornima
Dr Gangaram Poornima, senior consultant, Institute of Mental Health
Credit: IMH
Dr Gangaram Poornima, senior consultant, Institute of Mental Health, shares that although she doesn’t have specific statistics on the incidence of adult ADHD, one local study estimated the prevalence of childhood ADHD to be 4.9%.
A meta-analysis by Faraone et al. (non-local study) had estimated 65% of children with ADHD continue to have persisting ADHD, which includes 15% having full-blown ADHD and 50% in partial remission, indicating a prevalence could be somewhat around 3% locally,
she adds.
Dr Buvana busts the myth that only hyperactive people have ADHD. This is because ADHD is classified into different subtypes: either the ‘inattentive’, ‘hyperactive/impulsive’ or ‘combined’ types.
The people with hyperactivity tend to get diagnosed earlier/as children because their symptoms are the most noticeable and possibly disruptive. There are a lot of people with mainly inattentive symptoms, and these may go unnoticed and only diagnosed later in life,
she explains.
Diagnosing ADHD in adults
ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones - Tay Guan Hin
Tay Guan Hin
Credit: Branding in Asia
Tay Guan Hin, 59, was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year but admits he has been “silently grappling with its challenges since childhood, particularly struggling with focus in school”. He found solace and concentration in drawing and doodling, which allowed him to channel his energy creatively.
He is currently creative chairman at advertising agency BBDO Singapore and says, “as a creative director, I’ve turned what could have been a hindrance into a valuable asset for my career”.
His parents, both doctors, provided a lot of support.
My parents have always been incredibly supportive, providing guidance and understanding as I navigated my condition,
Guan Hin shares.

Even a concerned school principal once advised them to nurture my creativity, recognising it as a potential avenue for significant growth and development.

This journey with ADHD hasn't been easy, but identifying and embracing it has been crucial for harnessing my creativity and turning it into my strength,
he adds.
ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones - Adrian Phang
Adrian Phang
Adrian Phang, 54, was diagnosed at 51 after his wife encouraged him to talk to Moonlake Lee, founder of registered charity and social service agency Unlocking ADHD, as she recognised similar patterns of behaviour between him and Moonlake’s daughter, who had just been diagnosed with the condition.
ADHD is an explanation and not an excuse,
he explains.

"For that reason, it provides a reason for my past behaviour and if I do not contextualise myself prior to what I do, I cannot use it as an excuse for my impulsiveness and will need to accept the consequences. I can't simply steal something from a shop and use my ADHD as an excuse for doing something wrong, can I?"

The facilitator, coach and consultant in leadership & HR reveals he took up coaching to help regulate his emotions.
I try to recognise when I get impulsive and all fired-up and try to find ways to cope and control myself. At the same time, it is an opportunity to discover my strengths and how I can help others,
Adrian says.

"I find that I like critical thinking and problem solving. Coupled with my coaching skills and especially the ability to actively listen, I am better able to help others find themselves and discover what is inside that they could potentially bring benefit to society."

Supporting a loved one with ADHD
If you have a loved one with ADHD, the key to supporting them is to understand how the condition impacts their life. Dr Poornima suggests looking at local community support groups or online resources such as Unlocking ADHD, SPARK, Colourfully, Verywell Mind, CHADD, ADDitude, Hacking your ADHD, Organize 365, which provide ample of information on understanding and managing ADHD.
ADHD In Adults: Tips To Support Your Loved Ones - Mavis McAllister
Mavis McAllister, neurodiversity coach at Promises Healthcare
Credit: Promises Healthcare
Mavis McAllister, neurodiversity coach at Promises Healthcare, says that ADHD in adults not only affects the persons diagnosed, but also impacts their relationships with their loved ones. They can help, firstly, by noting that the ADHD behaviour is usually not about lack of willingness to change – they may have been trying to change for years.
She has the following tips:
  • Read up on ADHD.
    If you’re in a relationship with a person with ADHD, one good book to consider is Is it You, Me or Adult ADD? by Gina Pera
  • Talk about ADHD.
    Too often, the only 'conversation' about a loved one's ADHD happens when there is an ADHD-caused crisis.
  • Help them find good professionals who can explain the options and give them the support they need to make progress and thrive.
    Asking for help and advocating for yourself are not symptoms of weakness, they are signs of healthy self-awareness and a desire to take charge of your life.
Guan Hin admits that having support from family and friends often means experiencing more understanding and less frustration.

"This type of support can help individuals see challenges in a new light, focusing on solutions rather than criticism. Understanding friends and family can help adapt communication and interaction styles to be more supportive, minimising feelings of inadequacy or frustration that can arise from misunderstandings."

Adrian has one thing he wants everyone to know about ADHD – “it’s not a disease”.
It's not right for us to change legislation to accommodate our neurodivergence. Rather, it's more about being more understanding about the condition and work with us so that we can come to the meeting point where we can co-exist and thrive together,
he says.

"Granted, the major change effort has to come from us, since our goal is to lead normal lives. It's like being a left-hander – we just have to adjust and not ask the world to bend backward for us."

This article is part of a series on invisible disabilities, an umbrella term that refers to types of disabilities, chronic conditions or medical/neurological conditions that are not immediately apparent to others. We seek to understand more about these invisible disabilities and how we, as loved ones or as general members of society, can better support others going through it.

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February 28, 2023
Balvinder Sandhu

Balvinder Sandhu

A published author who lives in Melbourne but stays in touch with her Singapore roots and way of life.

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