Do toy boys come in size SS?
Oh put a lid on your feral imagination, these able-bodied lads would not go amiss as travel companions for silvers.
We need them for the heavy lifting (hand luggage) and shoulder to lean on (for stepping into a gondola, say).
June, moon, croon, spoon, and thoughts turn towards vay-cay, though this tarnished silver would not venture to go on holiday when parents and children do.
I set up ChooGPT for vintage friends set on travel, some for the first time even.
To the lady in a dither about going solo or chancing a friendship by travelling with a pal.
If you’re incurably romantic with hopes of going solo and returning duo, pack flirty and bon voyage. You can explain what the European lorry driver is doing on your sofa to your family later.
If you can best Tarzan himself on a survival course, then fly high and solo, golden girl. Hell, Tarzan would love for you to be his travel companion.
For the grandparents who tried to get out of a three-generation cruise and are even now making up a shared suitcase.
Relax, at least they didn’t bring Hamish the golden retriever along as well.
Take pictures of your children and their children, and make sure the ship cabin and restaurant crew and staff have copies. Instruct them, if any of these people come asking whether any of you have seen us, say NO.
The bunch who brunch are toying with the idea of group travel, and being of advanced age want to find out about senior specials.
ChooGPT has yet to compile a listing of places that serve soft food, spoon-fed by tall dark handsome Italian waiters, but gimme time.
Silvers who vacation together are recommended to wear bright block colours. You laugh, but you will be easy to spot, on the off-chance you’ve strayed from the flock.
The hospitality industry in the US does good by its over 55s.
If you eat before sunset — say 5.30pm — you pay half price; early-bird specials.
Hotel rooms for seniors have walk-in showers (rather than bathtubs which may require the SS toy boys’ help), ‘fridges for the folks’ meds, simple WiFi connects and simple TV remotes.
And one never has to worry about noise, because seniors are often hard of hearing.
I do commiserate with the more sprightly guests who check in after the golden oldies have left. Who may want to fetch ice cubes from the floor’s vending machine.
Because I have seen people wash their underwear in those ice buckets.
I’ll spare you the tip on using a plastic bib at mealtimes so you can catch the spillovers and doggie-bag it for afters.
So choose a short flight, outside of Malaysia, there’s Bangkok and Bali and further afield, Perth.
Though, if you want to get away from Singapore, here’s a ChooGPT warning: Perth is swarming with them, Singaporeans.
For Bangkok no need to pack, go there and do all your shopping.
For Bali it’s all about spas and massages and all you really need is a sarong.
Silvers are the happy wanderers today, because they can pick anytime of the year to strap down and take off.
They’ve done their time, earning their keep, running the home, ferrying children to and from school, sports and tuition.
The silver’s golden age of travel. Into the carry-on go laptop, book(s), phone and water bottle.
Into the check-in luggage: vitamins and supplements, ankle and knee guards, a walking stick, wet wipes of every size, creams and ointments for every ailment, hot plasters and balms, cough mixtures, motion sickness patches, eye-drops, ear horn and magnifying glass and we’re off!