Make Love Maps to update each other
"What older couples need to know is that it’s important to continue strengthening their friendships with each other, and updating each other’s love maps to connect emotionally."
Love maps help to build a picture of each other’s inner world, such as:
- How do you want your life to be in 6 months, 1 year?
- Do you have anything on your bucket list?
- How do you want to be remembered?
"It’s important to have regular rituals of connection. It can be as simple as how you greet each other in the morning and say good night. It could be connecting with each other daily to de-stress by talking about the stresses of the day or worries about problems outside of the couple relationship."
Plan to make time for each other
"We go for drinks or supper twice a week. We have date nights monthly and the rules are that we don’t talk about family or work, but our interests. We also make at least one couple trip, outside Singapore, a year. This is apart and in addition to the family holidays."
Structure a half hour conversation with emotional depth
- State 5 specific things you appreciate about each other, eg I appreciate that you did ...for me.
- Talk about what is going well in the relationship.
- Discuss a situation that has arisen which made you unhappy or concerned, get it out so that there’s no hidden resentment.
- End the conversation with “What can I do next week to make you feel loved?”
The key rule is that neither side complains
"Never fear conflicts. Learn know how to manage and repair the relationship. Skills can be learned."
New matchmaking trends for older couples
"Partners pass away and we also have divorcees who are looking for a second chance at love."
"One of our friends also asked if we could find a partner for his mother."
Ideas for dating again
- Get a picnic set-up that will give you plenty to reminisce about:
- Craft classes
- Make a matching lampshade
- Leather crafting at Crafune
- Glassblowing
- Deck the Home and Order a Meal
- Fairy lights for $2.14-$4.92 from Shopee
- Micheliin Bib gourmand dishes from Grab Food
