From The Last Samurai to The First Geisha, and taking great care not to dirty the water when you bathe in public, Japan remains an immeasurable source of fascination for the foreigner.
Whether bowing and scraping, slurping loudly from ramen bowls served in individual cubicles, forbidding of tipping, sumo wrestlers spraying sweat onto spectators, Japan works at forever being different from the rest.
It keeps its closed society tightly shut, its self-isolation dating back to the 1600s of the Tokugawa period.
I have been to Japan a dozen times before, either with package tour groups, or to interview the likes of Orlando Bloom and Rihanna. Everything was taken care of then.
Alas, last week, for the first time, I visited Japan as an FIT (free independent traveller) and let me just say, The Land of the Rising Sun gave me The City with that Sinking Feeling.
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Here it is October, and if you fancy going to Japan this year end, you have just about enough days to do the heavy duty homework. Without which you’ll come unstuck.
Most non-English countries which have never been colonised barely display signages in your language of choice. So don’t expect its people to speak it either.
Majority of Japan’s citizenry may understand a little of what you’re trying to say (in English) but they don’t speak it. So you won’t get anywhere. Hence homework before you embark.
Public Transport — You do not have to take a taxi. Because from one traffic crossroad to the next, the ride could cost $20.
You must study the country’s national railway lines — the map of which will make you hungry, looking as it does like a massive heap of spaghetti, add some pesto, a bit of tomato….
If you don’t learn your lines (railway) you will get nowhere, because much of life is lived (and moves) underground by train and subway stations 24/7.
There is an information booth (good luck locating it), and when all else fails, flap your arms, not too wildly, to indicate you want the line to the airport.
You could be directed to the museum of entomology, because the officer believes you are curious about flies.
A tourist with baby in stroller was frantic working her way to the surface the station. I asked an Indian man who looked like he was a salaryman, he of course spoke English, and directed her.
Think of Escher’s stairways, leading to Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, in a Kafkaesque situation.
I sat on stairs, reflecting, I hope they send my body to Penang when they find it years from today.
There is a travel pass, the Suica, which you buy off a machine or from the ticket booths. Pretty much like Hongkong’s Octopus card which lets you travel on all modes of public transport.
After much confusion and complication and exhaustive infernal attempts to purchase the elusive Suica, no, sold out, no, no more, no, don’t have, one finally gets to the bottom of it.
A European who’s lived in Japan before and was on a re-visit explained.
The Suica is temporarily shelved, because the electronic chip for the card had not arrived from its suppliers, and so its use had been suspended.
Once you have your public toing and froing sorted, you have next to contend with no wifi. It is simply not available everywhere. But this is Japan, once the high-tech behemoth…. But no wifi !
Okay, never mind, no ATMs? Of course there are ATMs, few and far between. But… sorry, your bank is not accepted. Where to find money changers? Please don’t tell me in the underground. No, not there. But in the ubiquitous konbini (convenience store) which is your best bet.
Japanese-owned 7-eleven, The Family Mart, Lawson’s… these are lifesavers, at times. Konbini stock everything you need for a hotel room party (since you can’t find your desired railway line, no wifi, no ATM).
Everyone (Singaporean really) on Japan heaps praise on its food. I love it too, but there are just so many vowels you can consume. Teppanyaki, yakitori, Tori Amos, sukiyaki, takoyaki, okonomiyaki.
What is this? Wheel of Fortune, may I buy another vowel?
Tsukiji is the famed fish market in Tokyo. I trotted off for its sushi, sashimi and learned a different arithmetic exists here.
If it reads seven minutes from where you are to your destination, you must allow for 42 minutes.
Out of fatigue I ate a slice of raw horse meat mistaking it for fresher than fresh tuna.
Now, having been a huge fan of John Wayne and Roy Rogers, you can picture just how I felt after.
And that’s when I decided to ride out of town.
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(Without a doubt Japan can be a favourite to visit, for its many folds of culture and history and cuisine and unusual traditions — often called eccentricities by the unlearned — heritage, cartoon animated world, efficient devices, scenery and landscape, ancient practices. But please do the homework, buy a local SIM card, have enough cash on you, and remember that in Daiso there you can buy 9 items for $8!).
