In today’s world of mobile phones and digital distractions, striking up face-to-face conversations with strangers might seem unusual, outdated, or just plain odd.
But for people like me, who aren’t as glued to screens, these brief, spontaneous chats talking to strangers can be surprisingly rewarding.
Whether it’s in an airport lounge, a waiting room, or a coffee shop, engaging with others not only helps pass the time but also sharpens our social and listening skills.
These moments don’t need to lead to long-term connections — sometimes, they’re valuable simply for what they offer in the moment.
Here, I’ll share personal experiences and observations that I hope will inspire you to smile, strike up a conversation, and rediscover the simple joys of human connection.
Advertisement
Why talk with strangers?
As we age, our social circles naturally shrink. Children grow up, friends relocate, and our regular activities often change. That’s why finding new ways to connect with others becomes important.
For one, and at the most superficial level, talking to strangers makes time go by faster. Whether you’re waiting for a flight or sitting in a clinic, a simple chat with someone can make a half-hour wait fly by.
You can also learn new things. Strangers bring fresh perspectives, unique life stories, and unexpected knowledge. It’s like reading a short chapter in a book — but in a conversational form.
Most important of all, talking to strangers helps us practise our listening skills. Listening — really listening — is an art. Engaging with strangers can sharpen your ability to focus. And, as they say, “practice makes perfect.”
Talking to strangers in transit
Here’s a couple of memorable incidents I’ve had talking to strangers in recent days.
Just a couple of months ago, I was in the Singapore Airlines lounge in Bangkok, waiting for my flight. I noticed another Caucasian man, about my age, sitting nearby.
At first, I assumed he was just another tourist or expat. But when I caught sight of his Singapore passport, I couldn’t resist starting a conversation.
And just like that, we launched into an engaging, hour-long chat.
We talked about how life has changed in retirement (although I’m not fully retired), travel, and our shared experiences as expats-turned-Singaporeans. When it was time to board our flights, we parted ways with no attempt to exchange contact details, which was perfect. It was a meaningful way to pass the time without incurring further obligations.
On another occasion, I was in the same lounge, seated in an area with four chairs. A couple, probably around my age, was scanning the room for somewhere to sit. I wondered if I should wave them over but hesitated. Would it seem odd? But before I could decide, they walked over and politely asked if the seats near me were available.
I said “yes” and told them that, in fact, I had been thinking about asking them over. That broke the ice and led to an engaging conversation that made the time fly by.
They had just flown in from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and were continuing on to Sydney. The husband shared how their flight from Chiang Mai had flown past Doi Inthanon, Thailand’s highest mountain, and how the clear skies gave them a stunning view.
The wife mentioned they had visited a hidden gem in Chiang Mai — a café built into a treehouse overlooking the Mae Sa Valley. I was inspired to go back to Chiang Mai soon to tick off some of the places I had missed in previous visits.
As the conversation flowed, the husband revealed he had spent decades working in the financial industry, specialising in emerging markets. He reflected on how Southeast Asia’s economy has been transformed over the years and the challenges of the 1997 financial crisis. His comments, especially his personal observations, were both informative and entertaining.
We also discussed Sydney, their home city. They recommended visiting the lesser-known Cockatoo Island in Sydney Harbour, which offers a blend of convict history and stunning views of the harbour. By the time my flight was called, what could have been a long, uneventful wait had become a lively and enriching conversation.
We said our goodbyes and parted ways — me heading back to Singapore, and them to Sydney. No strings attached, just a pleasant way to pass the time.
The "Ang moh" surprise
Of course, not all of my memorable conversations with strangers happen in airport lounges. I had a particularly profound experience many decades ago, around the time when China was just beginning to open up (and I still had a full head of hair!).
I was in Guilin, where Mao suits were the norm and the ang moh — or gweilo, to use a more local term — was a novelty, when I bumped into a pleasantly inquisitive local.
Despite the language barrier, this chance encounter turned into an unforgettable exchange using basic Chinese characters (informed partially by my studies of Japanese kanji in school). With his warm curiosity, we managed to share basics like where we hailed from (USA and Wuhan) and what we did for a living.
It was proof that language doesn’t need to be a barrier to human interaction.
Lessons learned from talking to strangers
These encounters taught me a few lessons. First and foremost, be open to opportunities. You never know who you might meet or what you might learn. Pay attention to body language — it can reveal a lot even before words are spoken. A smile or friendly comment can work wonders.
On the flip side, don’t overthink these interactions. Sometimes, we hold back out of worry about what others might think. Let that go. Most people appreciate warmth and friendliness, especially in public settings.
To sum it up, I guess I’d most probably advise enjoying the moment. Not every interaction needs to lead to an exchange of phone numbers or a lifelong friendship. Some connections are valuable simply because they make a moment in time more enjoyable.
Don't be a stranger
Talking to strangers may seem daunting at first, but it’s an activity that can bring surprising rewards. For seniors, it’s an opportunity to stay socially active, learn new things, and make mundane moments more enjoyable.
Life is full of fleeting moments. Some of the best are shared with strangers who cross our paths, if only for a little while.
So, the next time you’re in a public space and see someone who seems open to a chat, take the plunge. You might just brighten their day—and yours.
Tips for Starting Conversations
If you’re unsure how to start a chat, try these tips:
- Observe your surroundings. Comment on something relevant, like the weather, a book they're reading, or the situation you’re both in (e.g., "This lounge is quite busy today, isn’t it?").
- Ask open-ended questions. Instead of yes-or-no questions, try something like, "What's your favourite thing about Bangkok?" or "How did you decide to travel there?"
- Share a little about yourself. Opening up can make others feel comfortable doing the same.
